My hais is so big,
big as a Christmas Tree,
without ornamental balls.
Screws up my balance.
Like a piano on my head.
I hear will will still grow
when I am dead.
Haircuts don't work.
Hair gel pisses it off.
So I don't try to fight it
all that much.
'Cause my hair is so big,
it has a mind of its own.
Just like Siamese Twins,
I'll never be alone.
And on time it said, quite angrily I might add,
"Put down that comb!"
When I go on dates,
it scoffs on my chick.
When I eat out,
it orders my food.
When I watch TV,
it scratches my...knee.
My hair is as big as the twin towers.
And if you should know,
yes, it has super powers.
'Cause my hair is so big.
It has a mind of its own.
Faster than a train,
stronger than Stallone.
Never to be separated.
Like a dog and his bone.
But one day things got hairy.
And my blowout and I weren't working out.
You see my hair was housing an Irish man
and his family.
And people at work were starting to talk,
And work was going to ask me to take a walk.
But since then me and my hair
worked out the glitches.
And now thngs are back to the way they were.
'Cause my hair is so big,
together we are so big, tough and bad.
And things got shady,
that we forgot what we had.
And my hair might have gotten
my employer really, really mad.
But today that doesn't matter.
'Cause big old Blowout and I are
very, very glad.
SGM 12.12.1998
