My hais is so big,
big as a Christmas Tree,
without ornamental balls.
Screws up my balance.
Like a piano on my head.
I hear will will still grow
when I am dead.
Haircuts don't work.
Hair gel pisses it off.
So I don't try to fight it
all that much.
'Cause my hair is so big,
it has a mind of its own.
Just like Siamese Twins,
I'll never be alone.
And on time it said, quite angrily I might add,
"Put down that comb!"
When I go on dates,
it scoffs on my chick.
When I eat out,
it orders my food.
When I watch TV,
it scratches my...knee.
My hair is as big as the twin towers.
And if you should know,
yes, it has super powers.
'Cause my hair is so big.
It has a mind of its own.
Faster than a train,
stronger than Stallone.
Never to be separated.
Like a dog and his bone.
But one day things got hairy.
And my blowout and I weren't working out.
You see my hair was housing an Irish man
and his family.
And people at work were starting to talk,
And work was going to ask me to take a walk.
But since then me and my hair
worked out the glitches.
And now thngs are back to the way they were.
'Cause my hair is so big,
together we are so big, tough and bad.
And things got shady,
that we forgot what we had.
And my hair might have gotten
my employer really, really mad.
But today that doesn't matter.
'Cause big old Blowout and I are
very, very glad.
SGM 12.12.1998
6 comments:
That was pretty fuckin' good.
It sounds like it could be a song. You used to know that guy in Bloody Sausage didn't you? Maybe he could make a short punk song about it, sung through a distorted voice or something. I hear they're getting back together so maybe they could use some new material.
I also like it to see how the other side lives, as I have the opposite problem.
Why thank you my freind. I have scores more. I have a really scary one that I was going to post but I figured I would come out of the box with a little humor.
The next one I do will be the scary one. But most of them are funny. Or at least they're attempts at being funny.
I love that hair one dude, it's an instant classic.
Post the scary one, or the one when you talk about killing yourself (or wait, that's my secret poetry). Kidding, kidding!
Beat it.
The scary one is pretty scary...to give you a hint the title is simply called "Mike Tu".
You might want to change the name of that one and delete your comment, then post it. I like where you are going though. Creativity is always appreciated on this nutty blog. (Don't tell Figs I said his blog was nutty) ha ha
You know what pisses me off? I try to post on Ed's blog and nobody ever acknowledges my comments. It's like they ignore the 500 lb gorilla in the room. It makes me angry. You guys are like the UN of blogs and I'm the United States, always looking to start trouble. And you guys are like, "No, don't get other bloggers upset, you'll ruin our rep at blogspot" And I'm like, "who the fuck cares?" And you're like, "Don't invade Iraq" and I'm like, "Try and stop me" and the rest is history.
Beat it. I'll try not to start any new battles, UN.
Fakehead, who is trying to police you from starting trouble???
The whole idea of the Jets Blog is to let the spirit take you where it will take you. The only time I sort of get UN on you guys if you go way off topic and the only thing I do is subtly bring you back to the main topic.
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