Friday, June 22, 2007

Our Next President? Michael Bloomberg

"Rose's are reddish,

Violets are bluish,

If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be Jewish."

That's the attitude we all need to have about Michael Bloomberg. This guy is perfect for America and America is perfect for Michael Bloomberg. The only negative is that he is Jewish. And that is not a negative for us, but that will ensure that the U.S. will be hated even more by the rest of the world, particular the Middle East. If the Middle East didn't hate us enough by barging into their countries and create a Civil War, they will really hate us when they find out that our leader is a Jew.

But seriously folks, Bloomy is the man. So what if he is not a politian. He knows how to run things. He created a multi-billion dollar company. That is no easy task. Then he became Mayor of NYC and has done a great job. Let me tell you, going from a business man to the Mayor of NYC is no easy task. But he did it gracefully.

And as Mayor he has passed laws to create safer auto-emmissions, cracked down on mob-related businesses, got rid of the homeless people, eliminated low-income housing, made a universal healthcare plan for all of NYC, implemented a software program that identifies terrorists on subway cars (an alarm goes off when it detects someone with brown skin), gave raises to all employees with blonde hair and blue eyes, fought outragous rate hikes by the MTA, formed immigration laws that sent all Mexican people back to China (even if they were legal American Citizens), took back Dunken Dounuts from the Indians, paid for a new Yankee and Mets stadium with his own money, legalized Marajuana and allowed all the porn shops to re-open that Guilianni shut down. Ok, I made up the last one and the second to last one.

But this guy takes the subway to work every day. He is a man of the people, even though he is a lot richer than everyone in America.

The real reason I think he will be the next president? Because he will pay for his own campaign. How big is that? HUGE! He will not take contributions from big donors who expect big legislative changes in their favor. He will stick to what he thinks will make the country run effectively. Granted he is not an expert in foreign affairs...but who is? Bush? We shouldn't be dealing with foreign affairs, except places like Dufur where people can't even find food.

Bloomberg will help our economy which is all fucked up right now. And he will help our health care crisis in a more logical way than Michael Moore's way. Sorry Moore, but America is about a million times bigger than the Netherlands and we all don't make the same money like they do. And we are all not all white like they are. America needs someone who can handle something that complicated.

Plus Bloomy is a big environmental guy who see's the value of paying attention to our environment, which is something we need to start doing something about now before American is covered by an Ocean.

The biggest thing though is the money thing. Bush cowtows to his big money freinds. They want him to go to Iraq and get a strong hold on oil and he does. They want him to look for oil in Alaska, he starts drilling. They want him to break the levy's in New Orleans to wipe out the poor people, he does.

Bloomberg does not need to cowtow to anyone. He is like one of those friends of far as power is concerned. He controls the power. And he is a good guy.

I guarantee Bloomberg will be our president in '08. Mainly because I think he is the man for the job. Plus, when it is time to vote I am going to keep dialing into Fox till I get like 500 votes for the guy.


fakinus maximus said...

Funny post Unruly.

Did you ever feel physically sick when you had to tell somebody something? Well, I feel that way right now. I'm about to ATTEMPT to make a major career move that is basically a step backwards financially and a step forwards in the happiness category. The worst part is, I may not even get the job I'm looking for, at the risk of ruining my current situation.

Fuck me.

As for Bloomy, I don't see it. Fag has to throw his hat in the ring first anyway. Who cares who becomes president anyway.

What happened to the Mets blog? Nobody posts there anymore.

Beat it.

Unruly Jets Fan: said...

Dude, what are you up to?

Figgs said...

I'm so-so on this guy. partially, I've been living out here since Guiliani so I don't know him. He seems pretty good and maybe he will embrace more of the Independents view of things instead of being all tied to Party Lines.